Stay Tuned/Why Are You Surprised

Consumer News I Am Officially Not Interested In:

Airline horror stories. Don't fly. Seriously. OK, I realize that some of you do not have this option. Fly as little as possible. Whether it's a transatlantic Continental flight with sewage running down the aisles or whatever new atrocity replaces that next week, the fact is, airlines suck right now, and they're going to suck for the foreseeable future. There are complex reasons, but short answer is, until everyone is prepared (and has the means) to pay two to three times what they pay now for air travel, air travel is going to be a reasonably safe, but rather undignified, uncomfortable, humiliating, cattle-car-like, zero-service experience. Get used to it or don't fly. Me, personally, I try not to fly.

Tainted products from China. OK, you are entitled to be outraged if you didn't know the products were from China, but really, if you buy something knowing that it comes from a country which has almost no manufacturing oversight, very few export controls with teeth imposed upon them by other nations, a history of shoddy work, and no particular reason to provide quality goods to the USA (or anyone else for that matter), you are not allowed to gripe when your hair turns green and falls out or you get food poisoning. This is once again an economic matter - funny how that works. Until you are prepared and able to pay considerably more than you do now for some goods, you will get crappy goods.

Geek Squad and other techs ganking porn and other media from customers' computers. This one is a no-brainer. Sure, they're not supposed to do it, but if you're surprised that they do, then you are just not paying enough attention.

I guess what these three have in common (and these are all relatively recent memes, I'm sure there are plenty more lurking in my brain) is that it amazes me how many people still assume that they are entitled to a certain level of service, even when they are not paying enough for it. How many people still assume good conduct on the part of the manufacturer or service provider; that has never been true, not since the first Sumerian brewer watered down his gruit, not since before the FDA was founded in the nineteen-oughts, not now, not tomorrow, not ever. What sort of naivete do you have to have to be surprised? Why are you still startled that you have horrific, land-destroying agribusiness practices when you won't pay more than a certain amount for your loaf of bread?

Pant pant pant. Hang on. Deep breaths.

Okay. Look. I'm aware that I may be addressing the wrong crowd; that it's likely that you do try to buy quality goods even if it means paying more for them, that you are aware each and every one of the hundreds of times a week you make another little pact with the devil. I believe you try to be good buyers, and I believe you are smart folks.

But let's consider something like The Consumerist. That site seems to want to muckrake for the consumer's benefit. But Upton Sinclair it ain't.* (The Jungle. Look it up.) Consider some recent Consumerist items:

Sprint drops you if you call customer service too much.

AT&T is throwing loads of hidden charges into iPhone bills.

Nabisco's 100-Calorie Packs are a ripoff.

I could have picked several more. These are all "duh" items. One of the things that does tire me out about writing in this space is that the "duh" items come so often. Now, mind you, I'm one tiny voice that no one sees. But others have been shouting about these things so long and so loud that some consumers, somewhere, have to have gotten the message by now. Right?

Yet nothing ever changes. You go on getting swindled, happily, and people keep reporting horror stories as if they're something new and shocking. They are neither. And my worry is that, far from helping to solve the problem, these stories are allowing the problem to persist - they are making us jaded.

I think these stories are business as usual. That's the problem. I work on an assumption that we will be cheated, poisoned, abused, and lied to. Maybe you do too. But does that make us more or less willing to fix the problem? Does it encourage us to take the dramatic action needed to change the way we handle our consumer goods in this country, or does it encourage us to shrug and sit on our hands some more?

I don't know. But I do know this: When I see stories like these, which ask for surprise over something that isn't surprising, I hate the people who are surprised as much as I hate the companies who caused the stories in the first place. And that can't be productive, that hating in both directions at once.

* I'm not really dissing The Consumerist. They have a lot of helpful "how-to" style stories with real tips for the consumer on beating the system, and sometimes they also have good news - stories about the few people in the corporate world who are willing to be conscientous. Recently they've reported that the US may actually be taking steps to try to crack down on the more egregious Chinese bad goods. And they obviously know who Upton Sinclair was - even if they can't spell his name.

and now back to our program

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