Eccentric Flower talk:201108/So Its Like This

Soccerjude:

OK - so the cats ARE fine and they will come out. It took Sligo a couple of days to not be completely freaked out and scared, and he hid in a spot that was so awful Josh had to tear out a section of paneling to get at him. This is what they do. Under no circumstances should you believe that you're a bad person, a bad cat parent or any other such nonsense. Their instincts tell them to hide (something you should be more than familiar with!), and they'll come out and say hi when they're ready. Keep putting out the sardines and tuna, keep making sure the litter box is where they could potentially see it/know it's there, and make sure there's water in the fountain reservoir. This is a perfectly normal cat freak-out period, and it's rough on everybody. And I'm so sorry you got bit. And I'm sure that once she gets to know you, she'll feel badly that she bit you. She is, after all, just a cat, and she doesn't know just how wonderful you are and how lucky she is that you two brought her and her sister home. She'll come around. They both will. **hugs**

-- 03:09, 16 August 2011 (BST)

Platypus:

I know how worrying that kind of cat situation will be, but they'll be okay. They'll come out when they're ready. They will not starve, though they may only sneak out to eat at 2am when they're absolutely sure they're alone for the next few days. They'll get over their fear once they're used to their surroundings, and they will get to know and like you. As long as they're not in the attic or the walls, they are fine.

My mom's taken in two skittish former-stray cats, and each time the new cat freaked the hell out and spent the next week hiding from her. (One actually went crazy when my mom first picked her up, and bit and clawed and launched herself up the curtains in the foyer. My mom was horribly guilt-ridden and thought she'd ruined any chance of the cat ever trusting her. She hadn't.) Neither of these cats was anything like feral; they were just jumpy and scared. They seemed to spend their entire first week in the exact same spot underneath the bed, but the food and litter in the room would be slightly disturbed each morning. It didn't take them long after that till they calmed down and started acting like they owned the place. Even Moly, who was confident and friendly in her cage at the adoption center, was so frightened and shy when I took her home that I started having second thoughts about whether she'd ever like me. Adopting adult cats can be tough; kittens don't usually have that kind of fearfulness. It's hard to leave them be, because you're worried about them and of course you want to see them. But you've done nothing wrong, they aren't traumatized in any lasting way, and they will absolutely forgive you and forget this ever happened.

-- 04:45, 16 August 2011 (BST)

Thomas:

My cat (the one who used to be stray, not the one I linked for you on Twitter the other day) still considers under the kitchen counter to be her safe space and whenever there are strangers in the house she can live there for days. That is after many-many years of living in the house.

It is funny, though, to see her positioning herself (it gets harder to crawl in there, as the cat is chunkier now) in front of the hole under the counter every time she hears the fence gate being opened.

Also - when I place dustbin or recycling or anything else in front of the hole, I will often find the cat sitting there, looking at me with her fire-safety-inspector look: "Do keep the escape ways clear!"

-- 07:38, 16 August 2011 (BST)

Joy:

I'm so so sorry Col. For everything.

For what it is worth, I found you delightful company over dim sum, and am grateful you found the time to have lunch with me.

Also "The problem is, when you play it this close, you have no reserve.". You know what is going on with me and tenure right now, so you know I'm in the same situation. Just waiting for a kid to get sick and show me how I shouldn't have taken those days off or had slow afternoons or read the internet over coffee.

-- 16:23, 16 August 2011 (BST)

Rhonda:

No worries, I understand. You recall I once worked for a Large Company that put people under deadlines like that... and I've had small mammals in my care who managed to worry me beyond all reason.

So, we'll see you in September. (but remember, there's a ... Drat! and now I'll be singing that all day.)

-- 17:24, 16 August 2011 (BST)

Danima:

Oh, that sounds wrenching. I hope there's a moment of inter-species detente this evening.

(And, as a parent, I am right with you on this. I have had the kind of conversation you describe Many Times, and it shouldn't read as a blow-off to any reasonable person.)

-- 17:54, 16 August 2011 (BST)

ProfRobert:

Before I was a parent, I was an associate at a large law firm where 200-billables a month was considered reasonable (the minimum was 175 averaged out over the year). My record was 270, which included three full days off over Thanksgiving (a deal I had pre-negotiated before I signed on to the project); in other words, I billed (not worked) 10 hours a day every other day of that November. So, yeah, I get being overwhelmed by work.

As for the cats, well, I like cats, you know, but I have no sympathy for animals too stupid to eat and drink, regardless of how freaked they are. You've done what a responsible pet owner should do (more, I'd argue). It's up to them: You can lead a cat to sardines, but you can't make it eat.

-- 18:53, 17 August 2011 (BST)

Thomas:

Re: " ... maybe September?"

Looks like I will stop over in Boston in September. I would not mind seeing you then, but how will be the most convenient way to work out the possibility of getting together and the details for that?

-- 05:34, 19 August 2011 (BST)