Eccentric Flower talk:200906/Now Lets Go Eat

Joy:

I'm so glad we had exactly the kind of wedding celebration you approve of! Heh.

-- 14:56, 5 June 2009 (BST)

Ysabel:

This will sound harsher than I intend it, but you sound like my dad.

Except for this bit: So while I may not recognize the validity of such milestones on my own account, I do recognize the importance of observing them for other people.

He doesn't have that bit.

-- 15:37, 5 June 2009 (BST)

Columbina:

The best way to get me to attend something is to suggest that you would feel that it has value to you for me to attend. Seriously. I don't mind participating if the reason is, "I want you to be there" - in fact that may be the BEST of all possible reasons for me to participate.

BUT -

It will never occur to me naturally that someone would value my being present at their milestones, because

1) I don't often value people being present at my own and

2) I don't assume anyone values my presence.

So I always have to be reminded/asked/told. Always.

-- 16:24, 5 June 2009 (BST)

ProfRobert:

"I don't assume anyone values my presence."

You beat me to the point. That's the problem. It has nothing to do with the value or appropriateness of celebrating "milestones"; it has to do with your (wholly undeserved) sense that you are not worthy.

You get the fact that part of being a good person is showing up for other people, so I don't have to hector you about that. The problem here is that you don't get that you're a person who is worth showing up for and whose showing up for others is valued. (Which it is. For example, I was very touched that you and Nonelvis came to town and showed up at my housewarming party.)

-- 17:10, 5 June 2009 (BST)