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Crushed gerbils and artistic gorillas
I'm not getting any email lately, and we can't have that, so I guess I'd better put some words here.
I actually meant to write this last night, but I was too busy bringing an old web project back from the dead after a year's worth of cobwebs had formed on it. Over the next few weeks, in my idle moments, I'll go back and finish sweeping up, but it's presentable now.
Last night we watched TV. Now, as a general rule, I do not like sitting around watching the tube. I get restless and I swear I can actually feel brain cells dying as I stare. But sometimes you have to Know Your Enemy ... and sometimes you just want to turn off your brain, which is the real danger, of course - that gets addictive.
Last night we were in a low cesspool of depravity even by TV standards - we were watching the Fox channel and their Guinness Book of World Records show. It's not quite as bad as watching one of their other sensationalist packages, like World's Messiest Car Crashes or some such, but it's pretty low.
And during the program we kept seeing teasers for stories to come on their news shows later that night. There was a teaser about the dangers of people going through pharmacies' trash cans in order to find out information about you from used prescriptions ... which just tells me that Fox is really reaching for scandals right now; must be a dry period.
But the worst was yet to come.
Apparently they were actually going to have this story on the ten o'clock news (presumably after the Body Count). You've heard of "snuff films"? Well, this was a story about "crush films" - footage of women squashing small furry animals beneath their high-heeled shoes.
Okay, I don't mean to laugh, but you know, it's been nothing but sex scandals for our little gerbil friends for years now. Those poor critters need a break.
Nonelvis went to the urban legends site this morning to debunk these "crush films" and found nothing. Actually, I never disputed that such films exist - just like I'm sure there has to be a genuine snuff film or two out there. The point is, is it a "multimillion-dollar industry," as the breathless news teaser shouted? I think not.
Even by my standards - and I have seen some strange stuff - this is a very specialized fetish. There just can't be that much of an audience.
Unless there's a secret lobby of gerbil-haters who are funding these projects.
Before the Guinness show, we were watching something a bit more highbrow: A documentary on public television about Koko the gorilla and her pals. Let me tell you, if you ever had any doubts about the intelligence of these creatures, you need to see this show.
Koko and Michael, another gorilla, both make paintings. The paintings are pretty sophisticated, for creatures without that type of fine motor control. They'd remind me of a small child's art, especially the more representational ones ("Now, what is this supposed to be, honey?") except that - oddly - each gorilla has displayed what amounts to a personal style. I believe that if I saw these works in a gallery (and they have, in fact, been shown in one) I would have no trouble telling Koko's paintings from Michael's.
I find that very interesting. I'm not sure I'd put any of them in my house, but I can't deny that they're Art.
I mention this because on the Guinness show, they showed the work of a man whose "art" was to take a hotel room and toss melted cheese all over the walls, ceiling, floor, furniture, etc for a long while. Then he called this an "installation" and invited glitterati in, served cocktails, had a reception, etc.
Actually what amazed me was not that this man perpetrated the work - I admire such brazen balderdash - but that enough people took him seriously to donate the cheese, offer the use of the hotel room for some weeks, and come to the show and make comments about how wonderfully interesting the "art" was.
Both Nonelvis and I agreed that we felt the gorillas had more talent and more sincerity.
© Columbine
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