Eccentric Flower:199905/work and marriage
From Eccentric Flower
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may fourth work and marriage I've actually been doing a lot of work the last two days - work they pay me for, I mean. That means I haven't been doing any of the work that really matters. If it wasn't for 2500 words of Aedie last night, I'd be going through withdrawal pains. I suppose I should have more love for my job. I am content with my job ... and I feel (most of the time) that it's unrealistic to expect better than that - that, actually, I'm doing pretty good to achieve contentedness. My reasoning is: All non-creative paying jobs involve at least a little bit of work that the person doesn't like to do. Usually a lot of it. If people liked to do it, why would anyone pay you for it? You don't see people who get paid to ski. Creative jobs are different. There you have some mental output that others don't have, and they're willing to pay you to get that. Teaching can be like that, on a good day. But these jobs are rare and only a few of them pay well. The sad thing is that the growing sectors of the economy - the areas that have a future - are the ones that are least rewarding for the employee. The silver lining is that, as our world turns into a stagnant assembly line of McJobs, the demand for creative types to give it color will increase. A lot of wage slaves will suddenly be moved to find their inner artist. Wait and see. - - - Tonight Nonelvis and I had a few beers and discussed how cheaply we could possibly have a wedding and how few people we could get away with inviting. I am putting myself into Sheer Utter Hellish Bitch Mode for these discussions - because, frankly, I don't believe in getting married just so the relatives will have something to watch. I believe in getting married to tell Nonelvis how much I love her, that I will happily be with her forever and ever amen. The spectators can go **** themselves. My idea of the perfect wedding is the two of us, one witness as required by law, and whoever is performing the ceremony. But we all know that's not likely to happen. One of the problems - and when you hear how mean this sounds, bear in mind the mode indicated above - is that I'm not scared to make everyone angry with us, but Nonelvis is, a little. Of course there are all kinds of people who will be unhappy if they're not invited. But if you invite them, you run the risk that they'll actually attend. You don't want me at your wedding? they say, downcast. Well, gee. I'm hurt. Of course I want you at our wedding. I just can't pay for you. See, we don't want to take money from our parents for this. Aside from the fact that I am strongly disposed against charity, especially parental charity ... first off, it seems a little silly for parents to fund the wedding when we're both thirty or over, and second, by doing that, we lose a say in how the wedding is conducted. For example, if Nonelvis' dad is buying, I will probably not be able to get away with wearing a dress. To blazes with that. The dress is one of the few perks that makes the ritual tolerable for me! Giving announcements after the fact (instead of invitations) is no solution. If we have anyone present, there will inevitably be people who were hurt because they weren't present. It's not quite an all-or-nothing situation, but close. We came up with a list of 25 guests, and we were carving it to the bare minimum. Nonelvis said that would never fly. We may be able to get by with fifty. Do you know how much it costs to feed fifty people? OK. Let's add up. Nonelvis can get the chapel and the minister for a token fee. We may be able to get a space to hold the reception for a token fee. Nonelvis has connections for all of these. If I wear a dress, it will be a restoration of the antique wedding dress I already own. My mother is an amazing seamstress. We'll call that one negligible. Nonelvis may rent a tuxedo, or she may want a dress. At any rate, clothing is the most omittable part - we'll get married in blue jeans if the budget comes to that, and no one will much care. If we have a daytime reception, my Southern family will not expect booze - old custom dies hard - and this is good, because alcohol is expensive and a cash bar is too vulgar even for me. Invitations - well, to heck with engraving. Nonelvis knows how to get them printed in a way that's almost as good - she has connections there as well - and it should be pretty cheap. That leaves the food. And even if it's just barbecue from Redbones, we cannot realistically plan food for under $50 a head, not in this area, especially not if we have to recruit someone to help serve it. $50 x 50 guests = $2500. If I had $2500 to spare, it would be in the house-down-payment fund already. All of those little fees - no matter how many favors we trade in - add up. Plus, Nonelvis wants flowers. Plus, Nonelvis wants a set of professional photos taken. (The only time she's ever professed to want a photo of herself taken, and it's possibly the most expensive photo she'll ever get.) I don't think we can get married for less than five thousand dollars. And frankly, given that marriage is little more than a token act for me to confirm something I already feel, I find myself wondering if it's worth it. I'm not at all pleased about this. Can you tell?
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