Eccentric Flower:199905/i would i wouldnt i might
From Eccentric Flower
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may twentieth i would, i wouldn't, i might I used to feel guilty about playing the "Would I?" game. I used to think it was a male trait, a testament to the idea of other humans as objects to be conquered and bedded. Then I realized that women did it too and I stopped being embarrassed. Lust is universal. The rules are very simple. Every time you see someone, mentally evaluate whether or not you would consider having sex with that person. For the challenge round, evaluate whether that person would consider having sex with you. By definition, this calls for surface judgments. I mean, in actual practice I have to get to know someone very well before I'd seriously think of hopping into bed with them. This is more like a process to see who makes the first cut. It doesn't have to involve physical appearance. The rules tend to change on a person-by-person basis, and they continue to change as you learn more information about that person. There are people I don't think are physically attractive at all - yet I Would. There are people who look absolutely gorgeous - yet I Wouldn't. Sometimes I can track and identify my reasons; other times, my own brain is a mystery to me. Oh, don't worry, I'm not cheating and I'm not planning to. This is a thought experiment. If I actually did have sex with someone who wasn't Nonelvis, I'd need Nonelvis' full and uncoerced approval first - and so far I've only known two people who have even tempted me to ask. This is just a game, and she knows it. In fact, she plays it with me. Team play really adds another dimension to the experience: Nonelvis: What about her? Me: Which? The one in the red sweater, or the one with the ugly shoes? Nonelvis: They're not ugly shoes! Me: You like big clunky shoes like that. I don't, remember? Nonelvis: Well, you're just wrong. But what do you think? Me: Nah. Nonelvis: Really? I would. Me: I think she's smug. Nonelvis: You think anyone who looks self-confident is smug. Me: Not everyone. I just don't like the people who look like they know they're prettier than you. Nonelvis: I don't see that in her. She's got great eyes. Me: I concede that. What about the one in the green velvet skirt? Nonelvis: Doesn't do anything for me. You like her? Me: Um, actually, no, I think I just lust for the skirt. Nonelvis: It's a great skirt. You could wear it. Me: Not on the subway I couldn't. Ooh, look what just came in. Nonelvis: Oooh, he's cute. Me: I'd want to give him a shave, though. Nice arms. Some people can wear tank tops. Nonelvis: Mm-hm. Oh, look, he's smiling. Me: Definitely lustworthy. Nonelvis: Good thing Marc isn't here. Me: I was just thinking that. Yes, yes, we're shallow and evil and guilty of treating humans as sex objects. Go ahead, tell me you've never ever played this game. But make it convincing. © columbine |
