Eccentric Flower:199904/more rubbing on the same sores
From Eccentric Flower
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april thirtieth (barely) more rubbing on the same sores All right, all right, I surrender. When Kymm starts to harass me too, I know it's time to surrender, as everyone knows that Kymm is a force of nature and it is pointless to resist her. She told me the same thing everyone else is telling me, and therefore I hereby resolve to stop worrying about the whole subject. For a while. I'll write whatever I like. Do me a favor, though? If I get really tedious or something, drop me a line before you leave in a huff (or in a minute and a huff)? - - - Actually, it's worth arguing back just one more time - I promise this will be the last of it - because I don't want Kymm or anyone else thinking I'm wholly inconsistent. (I'm only mostly inconsistent.) She said: I don't understand why, if you think that we are interested in reading about your day and about your gender issues and about your opinions, you would think that we aren't interested in your literature choices? I think it's a safe asssumption that if we're there, we're interested in you and what you think. As I said to someone else tonight: I read other journals for the reasons described, and I accept their validity; I just can't imagine someone reading mine for these reasons. In short, Kymm, I can't imagine someone being interested in me or what I think, and it surprises me no end. The fact that I myself am interested in other people's journals in no way changes that. One of these days, someone is finally going to write me and say, "Goodness, what happened to you that you have these self-esteem problems?" No one has yet, thank heavens. - - - For what it's worth: I think I write really well. I am usually ecstatically happy with everything I write - that's why I'm so hungry for other feedback, because I don't think I can trust my own judgment of my work. I take no pride in my other skills - I have them, but they don't interest me. Only writing. Without writing I am nothing. I mention this to prove that I really do have an ego! I just keep it locked away. I feel like I'm not allowed to say, "Ooh ooh ooh, you should read this story I just wrote, it's making me jump up and down with glee anticipating your reactions to it!" even if that's what I'm actually feeling. The rules don't permit that. I can only say casually, "Oh, by the by, you might like to look at this when you get a chance" - and then hope fervently, fingers crossed, that you do. - - - Oh, and by the by ... you might like to look at this when you get a chance (!) The G story is up. It's not explicit, nor very detailed, and I'm not jumping up and down with glee ... but it's cute, and it won't waste much of your time even if you hate it. Tomorrow: what I had originally planned to talk about tonight. Honest. © columbine |
