Eccentric Flower:199811/sugar bagels and sundries
From Eccentric Flower
«November 1998 «Eccentric Flower
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six eleven red satin sugar, bagels, and sundries Having ranted about political things for two-three days, I should work my way down my laundry list of "short things which have flown into my brain and won't leave." I have a lot of those. I have even more that do leave and I never see them again. [clears throat] Both Al and Beth mentioned really, really liking Pepsi One ... one of them (I think it was Al) wondered about what strange and diabolical new sweetener was in it. Well, this is the kind of thing which sends me straight into Stay Tuned mode, and I took great pains at the grocery store to check out a Pepsi One label. The soda actually contains two sweeteners, which may explain something - synthesis usually results in a more balanced taste, which is why blended scotches are easier to get used to than single malts. One of them is aspartame, usually sold in the US under the brand name NutraSweet (Equal is a sweetener which contains NutraSweet, but the chemical itself is sold as NutraSweet - clear as mud). Aspartame, as long-time readers will recall, is not as safe as kittens, since it's not just the two joined amino acids they're always going on about, and in fact can release formaldehyde into your body as you digest it. I can dig up the URLs from my report on it, if anyone cares. The other is acesulfame potassium (acesulfame-K), which is not a new toy - it's been around a while, but few people sell it. The most commonly seen brand is ... hmmm, I'd have to go back to that same report to remember. I think it's "Sweet Ones." Some people think it may cause cancer, under the same conditions where saccharin causes cancer - that is, when you feed a rat more of it, in ratio to body mass, than a human would ever possibly consume even if he/she were a pighog. I'm not trying to scare anyone away from Pepsi One - I am merely pointing out the same message I was when I originally wrote about sweeteners: There is no free ride. If you want to avoid real sugar, then you take your penalties elsewhere, in the form of a slight risk of cancer or other nasties. If you seek to avoid eating fat and go for Olestra, you get the runs. Pick and choose. - - - Speaking of consumer issues, there are two other food items floating around in my brain. One of them is that Beth mentioned a while back that she was getting some great bagels at Einstein Bros. Now, I actually think they make a pretty good bagel for a chain - of course, with the Jewish community here I go straight to the source on the rare occasions I crave a bagel, but the Einstein ones aren't bad. So I was prepared to agree with Beth, until she mentioned dubious bagel "flavors" like gingerbread and chocolate chip. There she lost me. All I can say, Beth, is you're lucky Nonelvis isn't writing this, because she gets evil when confronted by the dreaded "goyische bagel." There's a place here that has a strawberry one. Urgh. Though not a Jew, I tend to agree. Acid test: Bagels are not supposed to be sweet. Savory, yes. Oniony, garlicky, whatever. Fine. But not sweet. If you see a sweet bagel, something is wrong. Mind you, I'm not saying they're bad! Eat them all you like. But don't call them bagels. Hmm - we need another name. "Sweet heavy boiled and baked dough rings" is a little clumsy. What was my other food item? Oh, yes. Got a container of Edy's for Nonelvis the other night. On the side of the lid, it says (and I am not making this up - all of these words are actually printed, in a repeating pattern, on the lid): Pint-and-a-Half In case you couldn't do the math on your own, I guess. - - - Let's see. I could mention how I got my first-ever ICQ spam the other night ... or how Nonelvis has been doing yoga every night and it's actually working ... but on the whole, I just yakked so much about foodstuffs that I should probably stop now. Used up my quota. oh, wait. I promised to say something about Jesse "The Body" Ventura. He ran for governor of - Minnesota, right? - as a third-party candidate, just for fun. I don't think even he took his candidacy seriously. Jesse Ventura is an ex-professional wrestler. He won the election. Boy, I bet he's surprised. I have read a number of analyses about why this happened and what the voters could possibly have been thinking - the one which was simultaneously the most incisive and amusing was James Lileks' - he's a Minnesotan - but he doesn't archive, so it's unavailable now. I won't speculate on why the voters did this (since, after all, I admitted the other day to voting for something just so I could watch the chaos if it passed - no stones from this glass house!) I would much rather speculate on whether he'll be a good governor. I am inclined to believe that the answer will surprise everyone. - - - Several people, I am delighted to say, have asked me about the datelines. Keep watching. I ain't sayin' no mo'. One person asked me about the Zamboni, and I'd answer privately, but just in case anyone else was wondering: This is the machine that comes out periodically to smooth down the ice, at hockey games or skating rinks. Big ones have a place for a driver to sit on them; little ones are steered around like a pushcart. That's plenty for now. Wheeee! © columbine |
