Eccentric Flower:199810/can I go hide now
From Eccentric Flower
«October 1998 «Eccentric Flower
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five october ninety eight eleven a m can i go hide now? One of the problems with the death of Stay Tuned is that the Monday morning crowd doesn't have anything to read. I generally don't keep up with what happens on other peoples' web pages over the weekend (that's why I like sites that archive, so I can catch up) and I often don't have the time or inclination to update this journal over the weekend. For all intents, the weekend is web-free. I realize that's the reverse of the way some people do things, but that's just the way I am. At any rate ... today I am fighting a harsh deadline at work, one which fills me with panic. It's a project that I feel insecure about, so in typical fashion I have put off doing it, and now the deadline is staring me in the face and it's making me jitter and giving me stomach troubles. I realize I'll probably understand it once I immerse in it, but don't want to. Of course I don't want to - it's not one of MY projects. Anyway, I should be not leaving my desk, not writing this, not doing anything else today except trying to figure out some other loser's C code ... but I can't have a day without an entry here, not when I didn't say anything all weekend. I take these things seriously. When I start a project I set my own standards for it, and it doesn't matter if anyone else on earth cares about those standards - I am the final arbiter of my conduct and I'm a really mean judge. Additional complication: I really feel pressure to go home and upload some files (which I obviously do not have the leisure to do) because of a DIFFERENT nerve-wracking experience which I initiated by making a hard decision yesterday night. That, too, is making my stomach bubble. Unfortunately, my default response when confronted with unpleasant situations is to crawl back into bed and ignore the entire universe. It's great for dealing with stress; it's lousy for deadlines. Later this evening, when I finally manage to leave work and have some time to calm down, I will read all my usual web pages and try to come up with something else to put here. On the other hand, depending on your outlook, you may find this shot of angst more interesting than anything I have to say about ads, the German election, or the price of tea in China.
© columbine |
