From Eccentric Flower
«July 1998 «Eccentric Flower
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thirteen july ninety eight four a m
the keys to my head
Dreamed I was one of three people being hypnotized for a project of some kind. The second person looked a lot like Natalie Merchant; the third was a puffy balding man (I wouldn't be at all surprised if it was Sinatra again). When it came my turn to be hypnotized (the hypnotist was one of my co-workers), I started to get dark images of being strapped down and electroshock and nasty stuff like that, and I panicked.
It reminded me that, although I have fantasies involving loss of control, where I basically place my mind and body in someone else's hands, they are just fantasies, and waking ones at that. My dreams know better - in truth, letting someone else manipulate parts of my brain scares me silly. Who knows what they'd do while they were in there? There is no one on earth I trust enough to hand them the keys to my head.
This ties in to why I haven't done any drug experimentation. I don't want to alter my personality. I might end up with something worse that I can't get out of.
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© columbine
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