Circular Cruises/Coffee Tea and Beer
From Eccentric Flower
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Coffee, Tea, and Beer 3 July 1997 I never drank tea hot as a child unless I was sick. Tea is something you serve iced. It comes in a tall glass with a long spoon and a wedge of lemon. You squeeze the lemon into it, covering it with your other hand so you don't squirt the person across the table, add some sugar, and then everyone stirs and stirs at the same time. There's also the kind of tea that already has sugar in it - this is more like a tea-flavored soft drink but it's good too. Tea in a restaurant always comes with free refills, because southerners may drink a quart at a time. Iced tea is a common denominator of the South, and it is served all year long. - - - Here in Boston they think that iced tea has a "season," like white shoes or lawnmowers. This is especial poppycock coming from a populace which routinely leads the nation in ice cream consumption all year round. If you can eat ice cream in February (a custom I do not, by the by, disapprove of) then you can drink iced tea in December. And they don't understand it when they serve iced tea in a tiny glass and I have to hound the waitress to refill it three times and then get belligerent if they charge me thrice. These people don't understand tea. - - - They don't understand coffee either, but I blame Starbucks, not them. It and the other oh-so-trendy designer coffeehouses bear the blame for the propagation of the iced coffee abomination. Coffee is served hot. "But it's too hot to drink coffee," they whine when I start to rant, standing there watching them ruin their beverage on a ninety-degree July morning. They are obviously not familiar with a truth that every southerner knows: drinking hot drinks on hot days cools you off. (Oddly enough, southerners don't believe the reverse. Drinking cold drinks on cold days just makes your hands numb.) Coffee is not just a drink for mornings either. Coffee is appropriate anytime. Coffee should be thick and dark to start with, and then you should add lots of milk or cream. (Sugar quantity is left to the individual.) - - - To a southerner there are four beverages. Coffee, iced tea, Coca-Cola, and beer. Bottled water is not a beverage. Wine is way too fancy. Considering the first three have caffeine, you'd think we spent all our time wired ... but you'd be amazed what a tolerance you can build up. On the subject of soda, I do specifically mean that brand name - most southerners feel there is only one true soda, although there are pockets of Dr. Pepper and RC sympathizers. Coca-Cola is so ubiquitous in the South that a southerner is apt to refer to all sodas, whatever type, as "a Coke" - much to the chagrin of the Coca-Cola people. Here in New England, sodas are frequently called "tonics," which probably reveals something puritanical, but I'm not sure what. - - - At least North and South agree on beer. We all grew up drinking the bad stuff. We're learning quickly about the good stuff, but that doesn't prevent us from guzzling the bad stuff every now and then. It's nice to know we have something in common. It gives hope for the establishment of an ongoing beverage dialogue which may one day reunite our divided country. Beer will be our rallying point and our strength. After all, it's worked well for the Canadians. Look how peaceful they are (not counting a few hotheads in Quebec). And they owe it all to beer. Which reminds me that I need to go get some Labatt's. Excuse me, please. Copyright © July 1997. All rights reserved. |
